Floors: people walk on them,
how clean must they be? Don’t we do enough meaningless stuff already?
Desert thorns and sticks,
tangled with dog hair, have long decorated mine. Bark fragments and ash from
the wood stove, popcorn nubs from that addiction, and plain old wind-blown
dust. Along with the classics: crumbs, crunched leaves, and the unknowable grey
fluff.
When the floor gets so filthy
I can’t stand on it—about twice a year--I drag out our ten dollar Used Crap Store
“vacuum cleaner.” Worn out, it sucks, weakly.
It also chokes easily. Every
vacuuming job includes semi-disassembly of the unit to dig out the wad of hair,
pebbles, twigs--hey, a dime!
Sunrise, sunset. One day an
angrily vacuuming son told me it smelled like burning rubber. OK, thanks, I’ll
check it out. Months later, I found it plugged completely with stickers and
fuzz, the “beater bar" seized, and the rubber belt cooked by the whizzing
motor. Nice.
Two belts must be purchased,
wrapped in cellophane glued to cardboard, though only one is needed. Classic
marketing rip-off, still cheaper than a new used unit. The “beater bar” I took
to work, blew clean with compressed air, and carefully oiled, a drop at a time,
with a toothpick and motor oil.
All this, to keep my
artificial floors marginally clean.
Vacuum cleaners are a typical
bogus invention by the Crap Merchants. They convinced people that wood floors
are better than dirt. Sold brooms and potions to keep dirt off the new wood
floor. Then, rugs and carpets, which, hauled out and beaten occasionally, are a
reasonable concept, if pretentious. But when they began glueing and stapling
carpets to the floor, technology stumbled a step too far, and the electric
vacuum came whining to life.
“Wall-to-wall carpeting”
means that days at home will too often be spent pushing this roaring beast,
instead of broom sweeping quietly and carelessly, or skipping it altogether.
This is not an improvement.
Vacuuming makes people
question their very existence: is this what we evolved to do? Do clean floors
impress the God(s)? Or are we just slaves to appearance, worried what people
will think of us?
Behind every perfectly clean
house are stress, resentment, depression, ennui, feelings of helplessness, the
eternal torture of free souls. Too much of what we do each day already seems
pointless, which perhaps it is.
So, at the very least, let us
all quit vacuuming floors. It’s elitist posturing--”Ooh, look at me, I’m rich!
Carpeted floors, an electric machine, and kids [or if really high class,
servants] to run it.” Homes with living humans have crud on the floor, compost,
sawdust, mustard, blood. Give it up. Use a straw broom to sweep loose debris
out the back door. (Roaches will stay outside if they are well fed there.)
 |
| not |
When the rug begins to stink,
rip it out. Live with the plywood or concrete underneath, without a care. Save
your precious time and energy here on earth. Let the dust of the ages be your
carpet. Truly, home improvement.
%$#@!
“What we refer to as nature
or the “environment” or the wild world is our endangered habitat and home, and
we are its problem species. Living in it well with each other and with all
other beings is our ancient challenge. In this time of New World Disorder, we
need to find the trick of weaving civilized culture and wild nature into the
fabric of the future. This will take both art and science. We can take heart,
however, from the fact that the actual physical world sets conditions that are
some of the strongest guards against ignorant extremism and fanaticism. “Get
real! Get a life!” is the daily message of Mother Nature.”
Gary Snyder, Back On the Fire, pp.24-25
%$#@!
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