Dumpster Living At Its Finest

No Fees, No Deposit, Move In Today!

Trash dumpsters are sturdy shelter in a pinch. Dirty, perhaps, but what of that then?

Wash your face, act respectable, and walk to a part of town where buildings are lived-in and fixed, and trash is regularly collected and hauled off. Behind the ritziest retailers are the ritziest dumpsters. Uptown they call ‘em “waste receptacles.” Wasted humanity can do worse.

Good choice. Clean and landscaped.

Furniture stores throw out bed-sized cardboard, plastic sheeting, and old furniture. Come back after hours, climb in, wrap up, and stretch out on a busted couch.

Offices and their suppliers toss reams of shredded paper, a good nest for humans or rats seeking snack and warm sleep. Be careful of clothing stores’ pointy racks and hangers. Laundries, barbershops, the various crap vendors, check each one, and live wherever smells sweetest.

Don't get recycled just yet.

Grocery and restaurant trash-pods may reek of rancid vomit, but free food is regularly provided. Beware broken glass, grease, rottenness, birds, bugs, and other mammals. Treat the late night staff well, many are just a paycheck or two away from being your bin-buddy.

Beware of the exclusive cardboard facilities! Sometimes they are crushed and bundled for recycling. If you are mashed in with a batch, it is worthless for recycling, and your fault. Just take some of the nicer pieces and move on.

Upscale recycling facilities with a view.

Now that Depression Too has settled in, all the huge construction dumpsters are lying in empty rows in the industrial neighborhood. Not too stinky, and, with enough help, flipped sideways and ready for immediate move-in. Can’t burn down a solid steel shanty-town!

Always be certain which day is trash day, obviously. Haul-truck hydraulics mash meat and bone with the rest. Don’t do society any favors, stick around and be a bother.

Turn these on their side for easier access. Or cut the fence and try the trailers.

Perhaps as our Empire crumbles, a few festering U. S. metropolitan areas can join the ranks of the world’s great cities, where the poorest poor squat and scavenge at the edges of garbage mountains. Keep all of civilization’s waste in one place, preferably away from the delicate senses of the rich.

Such home-grown dump slums will bloom someday, our garbage is high grade! Why let it all go to waste? The future armies of the poor must live somewhere. Be a pioneer, hitch a ride on the trash truck. Think of it as getting in early on the next “boom.”

%$#@!