Immaculate Equal Wrongs
Housework is the front line in the ‘gender’ tussle. Who is going to do it? Women are still the world’s slave in this department, usually.
Oldest of six kids, Cheap Dude assisted mom’s “homemaking" from earliest memory, while dad finished school and worked full time. He swore that when he was a dad, he would be his lover’s co-worker, not overseer.
So when Dudine began working “outside the home," and returned to college full time, he took full charge of their sons and their messes, while working 50-60 hours a week. Women are expected to do that sort of thing all the time, he reasoned; reverse the genders and no one blinks. But family, friends, and the kids were aghast--”you’re doing what!?”
Surprise! It is not gender that turns women into angry witches; it is the endless, thankless drudgery of running a household. Men simply become assholes since by definition they can’t be witches. Either way, the task, as usually structured, is infuriatingly impossible for anyone. On bad nights he wondered if, through the centuries, only their paychecks kept legions of men from being murdered in their sleep by overstressed matriarchs.
Whatever your primary sexual characteristics, trying to ‘single parent’, while working full time, feels like one huge stressful ongoing failure. Unless you give up sleep to clean, your home ends up looking like a landfill after a hurricane.
When children are involved, one solution is obvious. They need to know how to scrub a toilet, to start. Finally, a use for those howling offspring. Don’t lie by pretending it’s fun. Just teach ‘em it sucks but do it anyway. Much like life. (Also, for the record: confiscating electronic devices is not child abuse, no matter how often.)
The final solution to this winless war is to simply quit worrying about it. A clean house does not make you a better person, nor higher class. It might mean you are a good kid boss. Most likely it means you wasted a bunch of time cleaning stuff for no real reason, or paid hard cash for someone--a woman, of course--to do what you could have done yourself. Let it go!
Cleanliness is not next to godliness, nor is the phrase in any holy book. For most working people, cleanliness is next to impossible, to paraphrase “Pig-Pen.” Ignore dust and dirt, follow your nose, and focus on what stinks, or soon may. When both adults are working, a coin flip is the only fair way to determine the ultimate toilet scrubber, or Rancid Milk Refrigerator Spill Containment Specialist.
Fairness is the real issue anyhow. Stop doing 90% of your cleaning, and split the other 10%. A breeze then, no matter how foul!