No Care Hair

You Are Beautiful, Or Not,

Just the Way You Are, or Aren’t

Never Spend A Cent On That Mop

Despite what you think, your hair never need be primed, primped, poofed, coiffed, crimped, nor pimped. Skip all beauticians, barbers, chemicals, styling doo-dads, hair removal and hair growth.

If your hair length bothers you, borrow some scissors and a mirror, snipsnipsnip, done. Or with a friend who’s brave and cheap enough, take turns cutting each other’s. Cut it short enough to quit using shampoo and “conditioner” (which did not exist until a couple decades ago.)

It is the color it is. Like it. Leave straight straight and curly curly.

Old farts (like Cheap Dude) can use the scissors to cut their nose hairs, and each others’ ear hair, to keep their grey thickets from frightening the children and disgusting the women. Sniff a flame for instant nose hair incineration.

Another option: End Hair Favoritism. Male, female, let it all Grow Free. Never cut or shave any of it, face, neck, armpits, back, nipples, genitals, legs, none. No hair can be decreed unacceptable by anyone except you. Only if a hair or group of hairs threatens your sanity should you scissor.

Thus skip the razors, tweezers, “after shave,” bandages, and hair-cooking chemicals. Use your fingers for a comb. Maybe a little bear grease, if ya got any.

Go ahead and try this at home. Remember, booze and barbering go great together.